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Dropping Down

The FA have ordered Shitfield United to clean up their pitch after many complaints from opposition teams. The groundkeeper shepherds just haven’t been doing their job and the pitch is over loaded with sheep droppings. Apart from the stench on the field its also affecting play because of the ball being slowed or diverted when […]

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Making a balls of it

Knittigham Forest supporters filled the stadium at the weekend for their home game against Leeds Unutted, which they hoped would see them out of 8 successive defeats. Fans gathered with their knitting almost expecting to lose but hopes were high that their team wouldn’t make another balls of it. Previous games have been lost due […]

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Huddle Formation

Throughout the season the Ba,a,a,arnsley manager has been experimenting with different formations. The 4-4-2, the 4-3-3 and the 4-2-4 formations haven’t really worked out so the manager has introduced the ’11’ otherwise known as the huddle. The huddle works both as a defensive and an attacking formation. Defensively the players all huddle together like a […]

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Lowest Attendance

Boremingham City’s crowd attendance reached an all time low at the weekend when they hosted visitors Leeds Unutted in a goalless draw. Only 1253 fans were in attendance who could hardly stay awake during yet another highly boring game. Throughout the season games have been so boring the crowds have slowly just stopped coming. Even […]

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Laughing Stock

The press have labelled Woolverhampton Blunderers as the laughing stock of the league due to their increasing amount of comical errors. In their last game against Millwool FC they conceded 2 goals while their keeper was too busy grazing to notice the ball roll past him, and just last week against Ba,a,a,arnsley the whole team […]

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Life Sentence

After years of playing in the top league of English football many feel that Wigon Athletic are finally back where they belong in the League Championsheep. Hanging on in the Premear League year after year just showed that they didn’t really belong there. The chances of them ever returning to top flight football are so […]

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Another balls up

Millwool FC hosted Boremingham City today in a game they lost 4 – 0. The visitors weren’t particularly good but the Millwool players just kept ballsing it up. What should have been two comfortable saves in the first half ended up being two goals as the ball passed under the keepers hooves once, and the […]

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Training with bones

The AFC Bonemouth manager introduced a new training method today just three days ahead of their next crucial match against Millwool FC. The coaching staff have had a very difficult time getting the players to run to where they are supposed to, and previous methods using sheep dogs haven’t been very successful. The new method […]

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Soccer Wooligans

A number of arrests were made this afternoon in and around the Leeds Unutted stadium after groups of known soccer wooligans were caught in head butting incidents. Earlier this afternoon on the pitch in their home game against Wigon Athletic, three leeds unutted players were sent off for headbutts on the opposition. After the game […]

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End of season sun

As another dramatic season came to an end both managers and players welcomed the summer break. For many it’s off to the sunny beaches of Spain and the Mediterranean for rest and relaxation, but for the Blackpoo players it’s off to blackpoo beach for a shearing and some candy grass. So it’s hooves up for […]

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