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Adolescents must focus

Ahead of training this week an eye specialist was called in to the club in an effort to find out why the players can’t spot the ball. Tests included newspaper cuttings of spot the ball competitions which saw some good results from the players.

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Foolham fans unimpressed

A very poor performance against Arsenail saw Foolham well and truly nailed 7-0 at home. The home fans vented their frustration with boo’s towards their own team that started early in the 2nd half. After the game Foolham players attempted to win back their fans by juggling and performing foolish entertainment for the crowd.

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Last minute lick

A much needed win was secured today for Evertongue against Sheffield Whenstheday after 4 straight losses in the Premear League.

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More money spent

After almost winning the treble for the last few years frustration is high around Chelski who took on Middlesbra today at home. Another reported 200 million has just been spent on new players in an effort to win the treble this time.

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Cheats get burned

A midday kick off at the weekend saw Arsetan Villa take on visitors Evertongue in a game played under a baking 30 degrees heat. The scoreline finished 2–0 to the home side in a game where the home players spent most of the time trying to con the ref by diving in the box.

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Totally nailed

With many of Arsenail’s key players out through nail injuries, the manager had no option but to put out a less than full strength team earlier today when the Nail Gunners faced Robberham Unickedit. Despite having the home advantage Arsenail were hammered 6-0 by the visitors.

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Newcasale players on the lash

Almost half of the Newcasale Uneckedit team didn’t show up for the game against Sheffield Whenstheday at the weekend. Reports verify that this was down to a heavy sesh the night before. Players were spotted in bars around Newcasale drinking heavily and causing bother.

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Sunderlend raise a tenner

Muckem fans dispersed around the city of Sunderlend this week bearing paper cups in an effort to raise money for a new football. Begging was somewhat slow and some fans had even considered begging in another more wealthy city under a false cause.

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